It’s all about YOU.

YOU want to go to basketball so you screw up my plans so YOU can go. YOU want to join the basketball team and won’t find a job no matter who tells you to. YOU play games all day because it’s what makes YOU amused. YOU go to jack in the box because YOU want to. Well you want everything about YOU? Well fine! The only person who will love you is YOU. The only person that’s gonna be in this relationship is YOU. so YOU know what? Screw YOU. 

I’m the idiot who came back.

Like I told myself not to. Like i told everyone not to go back. I WENT BACK. and guess what? I moved in with him. Boy I think my head wasn’t on straight when I made that decision. I’ve not seen more clearer than I do right now. HE’S A DOUCHE BAG. He only cares about himself. He’s selfish. And lazy. and breaks his promises. We fight non-stop. I just need to get away from him

You can’t even promise me

that you won’t leave. You know you will. You’d rather leave me than promise never to leave me! And I’m an idiot that bows down to you and says okay and does what YOU think is right. EVERYTIME

I don’t want to be with you

because you’ll just break up with me in a week.

My heart is distant to you.

I really at this point, don’t know if I love you. Looking back at everything, how did I put up with it? I just let everything go… when deep down it hurts me. 

I just don’t feel the same anymore.

I don’t really feel happy to be with you anymore. I just expect you to leave it like always. I’m not madly in love with you anymore. I don’t care if I make you happy. I’m kind of tired of changing what I think is right just to make you happy. You don’t care about how I feel. and that’s horrible. 

I can’t do this

I can’t be with you. I am not wrong in this. Even when I went to apologize you hit me. I only hit you because it was a reaction. I get hurt, I swing. I have to apologize for hitting you because you hurt me. I am not wrong. I’m done!

You hurt me.

Physically and emotionally. You wouldn’t stop when I told you to, because me in pain was your number one source of entertainment. You didn’t care that it was putting me in pain, you thought it was hilarious. You pinched my back soo hard, I have never felt more pain than that. I screamed at the top of my lungs only for you to laugh. You still didn’t let go after I screamed and squirmed. You held on and you laughed! As soon as you let go I punched you sooo hard because why did you pinch me?!? Why?!?! I was nothing but nice to you!! But because it amused you seeing me hurt you just hurt me out of nowhere. I punch you so hard and walk away and YOU GET MAD. You get mad because I hurt you. But how many times have I told to not hurt me? How many times have I just let it go when you punched me or slapped me? I was an idiot to let it go all the time, but all that anger built up in me and when you hurt me the most I punched you so you could feel pain too. You leave me because I hit you, so you know what? Fuck you. You’ve been physically abusing me for weeks now stfu.

I am filled with anger.

I can’t stop clenching my fists and my teeth. I had all these questions going through your head. “I thought he loved me, why would he do this?” “Will he be back?” “Should I get him back?” 

First off, let’s put out there that this isn’t the first time he has left for something stupid. And every single time I had to chase him and beg him to stay with me. All for something small, like not answering my messages. Because of him trying to leave all the time, I don’t want him back, I don’t want to ever hear his name. I don’t want to see him. I don’t care how his life is going. You know why? He said he’s done.. SO HE’S DONE. He’s not coming back. He’ll never change, he’ll never see himself as wrong for leaving in the first place. So thank you for leaving, thank you for blocking me on facebook. Thank you because I can not see you, I can not hear you, I can not even come into contact with you. We are finally done, and right now I am content with that. I don’t have to worry about having to beg for you to come back to me. I don’t have to worry about doing something that makes me mad. I AM FREE and I’m not coming back. You don’t deserve me.

He left you.

He left you for something small. He left you for another girl. He left you for college. He left you for his friends. He left you for his family. No matter if you’ve been together for 20 days, or 20 years.. if he broke your heart he’s no good. There’s no going back to him, because in the end he’ll break your heart again. Some guys do it for fun and some do it for revenge. All you should know is, you’re stronger than you assume. You CAN get over him, you CAN live without him. And this blog, explains just how I get over my ex-boyfriend and what he did to me.